Away
by sbyamibakura
Summary: Shinsuke Nakamura/Sami Zayn, past Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn. Set Post-Raw after Wrestlemania. Part Four of Unmei. Sami swallows at that, looking away for a moment. He knew what Shinsuke meant. It wasn't the fights or beatings or jumpings that truly hurt Sami. It was Kevin. Kevin and his words and his actions. The little things that made his heart hurt, a reminder of what once had been.


By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: The wrestlers own themselves, the gimmicks are owned by WWE/NXT. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Pairing: Shinsuke Nakamura/Sami Zayn, mentions of past Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn.

Setting: Post-Raw after Wrestlemania (post beat down by Kevin Owens to Sami Zayn)

Summary: Sami swallows at that, looking away for a moment. He knew what Shinsuke meant. It wasn't the fights or beatings or jumpings that _truly_ hurt Sami. It was Kevin. Kevin and his words, and his (non-violent) actions. The little things that made his heart hurt, a reminder of what once had been. Despite all his violence, despite the betrayals, despite the words, he could still remember how much he had once loved Kevin Owens.

Part Four of _Unmei_.

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He only vaguely remembers being brought to the doctor's station in the back by some of the referees, head still spinning (both from Kevin's words and from the actions he said.) The doctor asks him a few questions, but he can't really concentrate on it. He gets put down on something to lay down and the doctor checks him out.

"I don't think there's a concussion," He hears the Doctor say somewhere near him. His eyes were closed so he couldn't see him, but he could hear him well enough. "Just a bit shaken up. He'll need some rest."

He hears a murmur of agreement at the statement and finds himself surprisingly responding to it. A door closes. He hears a sudden thump next to him and jumps slightly as warm-so warm-hands grasps one of his.

His eyes finally open and he turns to look.

It was Shinsuke.

"I am so sorry," Shinsuke says. And the crestfallen expression in his face strikes something deep within Sami's heart. "I should have been here." He holds Sami's hand close in his, kissing it.

He shakes his head, only wincing slightly from the pain. "No, no, no. You don't have to be sorry," he says softly. "You work in NXT; I don't expect you to be here. In fact," he continues, trying to inject some humor in. "are you even supposed to _be_ here right now? I mean, how did you-"

Shinsuke shakes his head. He moves one of his hands from Sami's hand, moving it to stroke Sami's hair. It felt really nice. The man seemed to know what to do to make him feel better. He was already relaxing and feeling better just by the proximity of Shinsuke near him.

"It was going to be a surprise." Shinsuke says in a hushed tone, continuing to stroke his hair (despite how short it was; he seemed to enjoy it.) "I got a bit of a break from training, so I wanted to come see you. I did not expect...I did not expect _that_." He looks down. "Perhaps I should have."

"That? You know that he has it out for me. He takes every opportunity to hurt me that he-"

"No." Shinsuke interrupts gently. "Not that. You know what I mean, Sami. How he _truly_ hurt you."

Sami swallows at that, looking away for a moment. He knew what Shinsuke meant. It wasn't the fights or beatings or jumpings that _truly_ hurt Sami. It was Kevin. Kevin and his words, and his (non-violent) actions. The little things that made his heart hurt, a reminder of what once had been. Despite all his violence, despite the betrayals, despite the words, he could still remember how much he had once loved Kevin Owens.

The proximity of Kevin was killing him.

He feels Shinsuke's hand tighten over his.

But...he wasn't alone anymore.

He turns back to Shinsuke and the man gives him a small smile. It was small, but it still felt like it went straight through him. It lightened him, made him feel happier just by looking at it.

He was...he really was.

"I-" he starts. He coughs a bit, reddening. "Can we-can we talk about this stuff elsewhere?"

Cause if anyone came in to see the doctor while Sami was professing love for wrestling's best and most popular wrestler, he wasn't sure the red would _ever_ leave his face.

And if they came in to hear the bits about himself and Kevin, well, he wasn't sure he could handle that either, in a much worse way.

"Of course. Come. I have a room in the city. If you don't mind coming with me...?"

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It was nice and spacious. Certainly a far cry from the rooms that he (and Kevin) had got way back in the start of their indy days, back when they'd both laugh at having to share the bed (because the ratty couch was both _way_ too small for Kevin and _way_ too short for Sami.) He knew that Shinsuke hadn't had it easy at the start of his wrestling career either; Japan was notorious (though not necessarily in a _bad_ way) for being tough on the new wrestlers (whether _Gaijin_ -foreigners-or native wrestlers.) But it taught them a lot about respect (something that was so highly prized amongst the Japanese people.) It was tough, and rough, but not abusive. Certainly nothing like the Bill DeMott's of the world.

He could only wonder what stories Shinsuke had to tell about his own wrestling beginnings. He certainly had tales that he wanted the man to hear.

It was a bit awkward for a moment. Not because of Shinsuke, but because of _himself_. How did one just say their feelings to someone else? It was like he had forgotten how. It had been so long for him. He could remember some of the memories from the past, but those wouldn't help now. Kevin was not Shinsuke and Shinsuke was certainly not Kevin either.

He wrings his hands, unsure of what exactly to start with, but at least thankful that he wasn't hurting quite as much as he had (the medicine the doctor had given him before leaving seemed to be finally helping.)

"I-"

"Do you-"

They both stop and laugh. Shinsuke makes a little gesture like _after you_ , so he does. But not before moving a little closer. His heart was pounding in his chest and he wondered if Shinsuke could feel it, being so near. With his head clearer and without other distractions, he could take in the man. He wore a _YeaOh!_ shirt and had been wearing a leather jacket to go with it (which he had taken off once they got into the hotel room) along with some jeans and leather boots. He hadn't really seen pictures of him outside of wrestling pictures and promotional pictures, so he hadn't been sure what kind of clothing Shinsuke would rock, but he loved what he saw; definitely a great aesthetic.

"Please don't give up on me." It comes out in a rush and was certainly _not_ what he had been going to say, but it comes through his lips unbidden.

Shinsuke's brows raise.

He glances away. "I-I know he's near. And it confuses me; I'll admit that. I just want this to be _over_ with him. But..."

"You're afraid it'll never be over."

He shrugs helplessly. But no, he couldn't be a coward now. Not when Shinsuke had done so much already, when he had opened Sami's eyes to _this_. He couldn't back down now. Sami Zayn was not a man who backed down from anything, no matter how large or small the thing was up against him.

"Him being so near, it's...it's hard. It makes remember things. And there were dark things, very dark. But not all of it was bad." he laughs bitterly. "Kevin made sure to continually remind me that he _loved_ me, that the rest of the stuff didn't matter as long as he loved me and I loved him."

"You love him now." It was a statement, not a question. But it was not said with malice.

He looks into Shinsuke's face closer now. Shinsuke, who's eyes held both a calmness as well as a sadness that he didn't like to see there. He brushes some hair away from Shinsuke's face, wanting to erase that look in his eyes.

"I did. I probably always will, in some form." he admits. A large weight seems to come off him at the admission. "But it's dysfunctional and terrible and not good for either of us. He...can only be what he is. And I-I like what you are more. You _are_ more. More than he'll want to, or _could_ , ever be. I..." He licks his lips, pausing. He lets out a short laugh. "I'm sorry, I'm not good at these sorts of things."

Shinsuke lets out a small laugh of his own now and he feels his shoulders lighten as the expression in his face brightens. One of Shinsuke's hands pulls him closer and shudders slightly at the closer proximity. He squirms slightly, reddening; the man _had_ to feel Sami (and how _he_ felt) against him. He seemed to like it very much.

"You're amazing," Shinsuke says. Sami lets in a deep breath at that, both at the tone and his expression. Shinsuke's smile deepens. "I'll tell you every day until my face is blue, until you believe me."

His eyes close and he swallows now against a lump in his throat. It felt like too much and yet just enough. Shinsuke was...god, how could he even describe how he _felt_ right now, in this moment?

"I love you." Was that hoarse voice his? Had to be, had to be. His eyes open. "I know it's...it's...but it's _you_ and it's _us_ and it's...you're all I think of now and all I want to do is _kiss you_ and for you to-"

"Then kiss me." Shinsuke says huskily, his eyes moving over Sami's face and he shudders again.

He does.

He grabs his face, kissing him with a desperation and ferosity that even surprises _him_. They're lips move together in a rhythm, over and over, and all he wants to do is scream. Or cry. But the overwhelming feeling was settling in his belly now, as he clings to Shinsuke, and he can finally _breathe_ again. And it is him now, solely him, in his feelings for Shinsuke. No overwhelming feelings overtaking. Now it is his feelings, without the influence of the _electric_ feeling that took over everything else. Oh there was still _certainly_ electricity in other ways though; in the hot hands of Shinsuke as they move under his shirt, keeping him close as they try in vain to be closer to one another. And the love...well it, as with the rest, would certainly be overwhelming in their own way, but it was in a _different_ way. He could properly appreciate everything now, could appreciate Shinsuke more now.

Finally they pull apart, feeling the need for air, their foreheads pressed together, breaths mingling. Shinsuke's arms suddenly tighten on his.

"Watashi no kokoro wa itsumo anata ni zokushimasu, Sami. Always. I love you." He lets out a laugh. "I have waited...for so, so long to be able to tell you that. I have went through so much to be able to see you. But I would do it over and again just to see you."

His heart beats faster and he could feel the rush of tears on his face, unable to stop them. Shinsuke moves his hands over his face tenderly, love in his face, as he looks at Sami, smiling.

"Say it again."

Shinsuke lets out another laugh, a joyous one.

And he does.

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Watashi no kokoro wa itsumo anata ni zokushimasu - My heart will always belong to you.

A/N: GAH! WHY MUST YOU TWO DO THIS TO ME? My heart... Still, it's an interesting dynamic, I think! Especially when you compare it to the dysfunction of Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn (which in turn is it's OWN interesting dynamic _because_ of the dysfunction!)

I hope you all enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought! (I always love to see your reviews!)

-PhoenixJustice


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